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BBW Dating
&
Personals

Brought to you by
"Ianardo's BBW Art Gallery".
Ianardo's

Choosing and Using BBW Dating Sites - Some Tips
Profile Writing Tips
First Dates and Choosing a Partner!
Flirting/Dating Tips
Lonely Hearts - 1990s Style - On a separate page.
The Bad, the Worse, and the Totally Nuts! (Or Ianardo's online dating memoirs) - On a separate page.
Bad Dating Sites! - On a separate page.


Personals sites are included on this page strictly at the webmaster's discretion. I can't guarantee the quality of the sites/services listed below, but I have tried most of them. I've also tried out most BBW sites (and/or had correspondence with the owners) not listed! Reasons for non-listing are given further down this page. I use the same discretion regardless of whether companies offer affiliation or other rewards.

Be cautious whatever dating site you use. Both for the individuals you may meet online, and for the honesty of the services provided:


Large and Lovely Connections

The webmaster has used this site to a small extent in the past, but although I didn't find anyone through it (in the UK), it seems like a good site.


Large Passions (free)

A good site that the webmaster has used, and one of the last free sites specifically for BBWs and admirers.


Largerdate.co.uk (UK based)

This has been the best UK site that I've used, having met my (ex) wife there, and also a previous girl friend. It's less sophisticated than some sites, but that can be a positive attribute.


Here are some newer sites that the webmaster has not had a chance to thoroughly assess or try out:

BBW Admire (UK based)

cuddlyfreeandsingle.co.uk (UK based)

Curvy Date (UK based)


Tip for browsing personal site profiles: If you find someone you think might be worth contacting, see if you can find his/her profiles at other sites too. It can be surprising how varied some people's self descriptions are, and it can help to weed out those who are not honest (or who are unbalanced!).

A Greater Date - lists personals sites incl. BBW.



Ianardo's




Reasons for excluding any particular dating sites includes the following:

- Lack of procedures for dealing with those who abuse the sites and/or other users. Being able to block messages (to prevent harassment) is not sufficient, as repeated trouble-making should result in the culprits being banned from the site.

- Keeping old abandoned profiles with no indication of when they were last active. This encourages users to waste their money and also gives a false impression of how many active users a site has.

- Auto-renewal of membership (via debit/credit cards) either without making this feature clear, or without making it easy to cancel renewals.

- Poorly designed websites, features, etc. Such as difficulty in searching members for specific categories (e.g. non-smokers). Or strange and incompetent arrangements for getting members to pay for the services especially if the procedures are not made clear. Or search results that have pages that "refresh" while navigating, which causes you to miss some profiles. The reaction of website owners to polite suggestions often reveals why their services were so muddled to start with!

- Stealing images from other sites to use on their own site.

- Making it difficult, or impossible, to delete or hide one's profile. A case of once you're in, you're in for life!

- Promoting the same site under a variety of titles and domain names, which may catch out webmasters when doing link exchanges (not realising it may be one of his/her blacklisted sites). It is debatable as to whether or not this is an unscrupulous ploy as it includes schemes for affiliations/associates rather like a franchise. But the differing names may also mislead customers too.

- Unscrupulous and aggressive methods of promotion, especially when a new service is getting established. Unacceptable practices have included: "Spamming" forums that do not permit promotions; posting fake customer recommendations in forums; sending out emails linking to fake profiles; posting links to unrelated things, but with code that causes a pop-up to appear, taking you to their dating site; harassing website owners to promote them; running link exchange campaigns with website owners and then deleting their own links page (or having no internal link to their links page for their customers); having fake members to encourage new users to become paid up members; not letting potential customers know what full membership will cost until after they have set up a profile; mis-leading potential customers about how many local members they have.

- I've long suspected (but don't know for certain) that a few services might employ people to pretend to be customers. These phoney customers then use the "I'm Interested" type of feature, whereby one can indicate interest to someone without paying for membership. The recipient then pays for full membership to allow him/her to reply only to get no response. That is, it's a ploy to trick people into buying membership. I can't prove this theory, but I suspect it is true. The suspected culprits tend to be logged in for long periods daily and over periods of months or even years.

These are cautionary tales for anyone using dating websites! Sadly, many very good free BBW sites closed after the commercial services started to cash in on this niche market. The free site owners often have a better understanding/empathy with those ladies and admirers using these services rather than relying upon market research.


Ianardo's

Choosing and Using BBW Dating Sites - Some Tips

Free versus commercial sites

There used to be several very good free dating sites for BBWs and their admirers, but sadly, most closed after the commercial sites discovered the BBW/admirer niche market. The downside of free sites is that trouble makers and other obnoxious people are more likely to join and the non-professional sites are not always good at dealing with trouble. The plus-side of the free BBW/admirer sites was that they were run by people with a genuine knowledge of the niche market, rather than relying on market research.

Other drawbacks of free sites are: Even more fake profiles than on commercial sites; more profiles from people who are not taking online dating seriously; your profile might be visible to anyone on the internet, and not just those seriously looking for friends/soulmates; 'trolls' home in on free sites and go around insulting and annoying men and women who have profiles on display. The plus side (apart from saving money) may be large numbers of people using a particular site.

I've found the most expensive sites to be the least trouble in terms of the other folk encountered, but there are commercial sites that are run unscrupulously. Many insist that you set up a "free" profile before you can look around and see if it is any good. Some then make it very hard to close your account or even to take down your profile. Many of them auto-renew paid membership from your card. Even worse sites have been known to steal profiles from free sites, create fake profiles, or email/post fake recommendations.

It is best to get recommendations from friends that you know and trust. Otherwise, treat every site with caution.

A good way to browse free profiles is to join one of the networking sites. Although there will be plenty of married folk just keeping in touch with friends, you will usually find singles too, and one can learn a lot from searching detailed profiles (often containing blogs).

Spotting the bad guys

I've found online discussions of women listing warning signs in men's profiles which are absolute rubbish! Sadly, innocent men often get condemned and wrongly labelled by some women who've had bad experiences online. The moral of the story is: Don't jump to conclusions about anyone.

A man can't help what he finds attractive in a woman, but he can help how he treats her and talks to her. It's only when you talk or correspond that you really get any reliable warning signs. It's a bad sign if he: Talks about meeting too soon; talks about intimate subjects straight away; asks impertinent questions; won't talk about his family/relatives; tries to make you feel guilty or overly sympathetic for his situation (emotional blackmail is a popular ploy against women with low self-esteems, allowing the men to manipulate women for their own selfishness). Asking for financial help is the most obvious warning sign, so don't fall for ploys that involve handing over money, e.g. Money to help him to travel and meet you, or to deal with some crisis or emergency that he may have made up.

Spotting the bad women

As mentioned above, it is when you start communicating that you get any reliable warning signs of trouble ahead. Points to look out for are women who: Disapprove of your hobbies/interests; think you have character flaws and want to "correct" them; are looking only for material things and financial security, rather than love.

As with men, it is important not to be too quick to 'condem' any lady from her profile or first impressions. At least not over any subtle issues that remind you of previous bad experiences. It is all too easy to mis-learn from experience, and so one needs to remain fairly objective.

When You're Serious About Meeting someone - Matchmaker

Ianardo's

Profile Writing Tips

The following advice on writing a good profile for dating websites, is only one man's thought's, but I am a veteran of the BBW sites and to a lesser extent the general ones. However, some of my own opinions are echoed by similar advice offered at some of the personals websites themselves.

Firstly, I'll list a few things to avoid, as these are very common, but serious, mistakes by profile writers. Keep in mind at all times that a personal profile at a dating site is supposed to be an advert, intended to attract (hopefully the right person):

Rants

Ranting has no place in a profile, even though it may be tempting after many bad experiences on a personals site. There are very clear-cut reasons why you should not write a rant in a profile. Firstly, the people actually reading the rant will more than likely have had equally bad experiences, and they do not want to hear moans from a complete stranger (ranting should happen between friends or on an appropriate forum). Secondly, the sort of people mentioned in the rants probably don't bother to read profiles properly. Thirdly, a profile should be positive if it is going to attract the right sort of person, and a rant will probably make him/her move quickly onto another profile. So a rant may make your troubles at a site worse. A slight exception to this rule would be a witty, well written, humorous take on bad experiences at dating sites. If you enjoy writing, then this can give an insight into your sense of humour and how you get through these annoying experiences in a cheerful and positive manner. It is best to save such an article for the end of a profile.

"Favourites" lists at dating sites

This is really part of the rants issue mentioned above. There is a widespread (but bizarre!) resentment among the ladies (at least) at dating sites, for men who add them to a "favourites" list, but then do not get in touch. The whole point of a favourites list is so that someone browsing can find profiles again that looked promising, but there are many possible (and obvious) reasons why he might not write. Why should this irritate so many ladies? It does not impact on their lives or infringe on their freedom, or have any other negative effect. I take it as a compliment to be added to such a list, and if that lady never writes, it means she's changed her mind, or found someone more suitable, or some other reason. Who cares?! So don't moan about such nonesense in profiles!

Silly Exclusions

Give some thought as to the types of people you say you definitely don't want to hear from. I often see requests for "idiots" not to reply, which tends to mark out the profile writer as an idiot! After all, how many idiots believe themselves to be idiots?! And assessing idiocy is highly subjective anyway. Requests concerning honesty and liars can also make the profile writer appear foolish. How many liars are going to own up to their lying tendency?! As fools don't always read profiles properly (or just look at the photos), it can be futile to take up valuable profile space trying to tell them not to write, while the nicer and more intelligent readers will be put off by having to read so many negative points. It is rather like placing a sign on your house: "Burglars. Please don't break into my home". Great deterrent, huh?!

Subjective Attributes

When describing yourself or the person you seek, don't attach words such as "good" to purely subjective issues. For example, "good sense of humour", "good fashion sense" or "good taste in music" are meaningless unless you give examples of your own taste. Sadly, many people do not grasp that these issues are subjective, and seriously believe their own taste to be the only right one! And asking for someone good looking, handsome, beautiful, etc. really is very silly! One person's view of good looks is another person's view of unattractive.

Normality

One person's view of being "normal" will be another's view of eccentricity. So, avoid writing that you do all the "usual things" or "normal things", or that you are "normal" and/or seek someone "normal". That can come across as arrogant, since one should not hold oneself up as a personality that all others should aspire to! "Normal" could also be interpretted as meaning either hobbies, lifestyles, etc., or else it might refer to having a sound state of mind. Either way, it is pointless to write about it, since a great many readers will consider themselves normal, but may be uncertain what the advertiser is trying to say.

Hobby Lists Too Lengthy

Sometimes it can be a mistake to list too many hobbies/interests. Some people do this in the hope that they may hit upon an interest of the reader, but it may have the reverse effect if there are several interests that don't appeal to the reader. It is better to mention one's main spare time interests and state that you are open to meeting someone with different interests and learning about them (if indeed that is your philosophy?).

Profile Too Long

If your profle text is very long (especially in long paragraphs), the reader may not bother to try reading it all. Remember, the profile is an advert and so the text should be structured. Start with something to get his/her interest. Break it up into paragraphs if the website design permits this. Use bullet-style or numbered lists if appropriate, to make the text easier to read quickly. The reader may be browsing through dozens of profiles and does not want to dwell on any single profile unless it grabs his/her interest. If you still want to add extra information, then this can be added at the end as an appendix to be read by those who have enjoyed reading the main part of the profile.

Clichés

Many profiles look the same because they are full of clichés, often the same ones over and over again. Apart from being irritating when browsing lots of profiles, they can fail to get across just what the person is like, since the phrases are open to interpretation. Clichés such as "laid back", "down to earth", "don't suffer fools gladly", "work hard and play hard", "what you see is what you get", also fail miserably because it makes one's profile blend into many others. It needs to stand out as being individual, since it is after all advertising an individual person, and not some cardboard cut-out pretend person! So write something that describes your character. A party-goer? A quiet, creative type? A world traveller? A lot about yourself comes across in the way you write it rather than actually stating it, such as the type of sense of humour you have.

Annoying the BBW Admirers

For the cuddly ladies advertising in BBW/admirer specific sites, please make sure that the text of your profile is not a copy of what you have been using on the general dating sites. I often see firm statements made about the lady's physique followed by a request for those wanting a thin lady to push off! When written on a BBW/admirer site, that looks pretty silly! Virtually all the men reading will not prefer thin ladies, but they will be irritated by that out of place request. Again, it makes the profile writer look like a fool, when it may just be carelessness. Profile writing should not be hurried. Potentially, they can be very important for your future life.

Long Wish Lists

Unfortunately some website profile pages encourage folk to write out long and unrealistic wish lists about the potential partner that they seek. When a maid told Mae West that she seeked a man who is "tall, handsome and rich", Mae replied that the maid wasn't seeking a man, she was seeking 3 men! Apart from being realistic about who you would like to find, one should not have too many strict criteria because every person is a balance of many qualities, quirks and faults. He/she may fall slightly short of one of your preferences, but compensate by being very good in another aspect. If you set a long list of uncompromising criteria, then you will exclude almost everyone. For the ladies in particular, this can have even worse side effects, as I suspect that these long wish lists encourage some men to lie about themselves, and I'm sure the ladies do not want to find themselves dating a liar! Sometimes criteria appears as a result of past bad experiences, but it is all too easy to over-react to just one or two experiences of a particular 'type' of person, and then generalise about all in that category and exclude them all in the future. Given time, the entire population may end up excluded! A common example is to exclude men/women who are out of work. There are lots of possible reasons for that state of affairs and many people have been in this situation at some time in their lives. It is only fair to hear their story first and then decide what sort of person they are.

Causing offense

When expressing your preferences for a potential boy/girl friend, there is no need to be offensive about those who do not meet your requirements. At BBW sites, this may well be deemed hypocritical, as a number of larger ladies, evidently seeking acceptance, then make remarks about men who are large, thin, short, etc. Thoughtless comments (perhaps made in jest) can even be offensive to people who actually do fit your criteria. For example jokes about false teeth and lost hair, aimed at steering away men who are much older (than the lady advertising), will actually target victims of illness and accidents who may be young and just as worthy of consideration as any other likely prospects. That gives the impression that the lady is thoughtless and/or heartless, when in fact she may just have been careless and hurried in her profile writing.

Keep it logical!

Sometimes I read profiles with statements and requests that make no sense. For example, insisting that replies must only come from men who are taller than the advertiser, but the advertiser has not revealed her height! Or requesting someone who shares the same interests, without actually revealing the advertiser's interests!

Photo captions

I often see photos 'dated' as having been "taken last month", or "taken 3 weeks ago". These are meaningless statements unless the reader has some way of knowing when they were written! If the photos are to be dated at all, then the actual date (or at least the year) that they were taken should be stated. If you look young for your age, it helps to emphasise how recently the photos were taken.

Photos of yourself only!

When dating sites ask you to upload photos, they don't mean pictures of Ely Cathedral, a house, a dog, or a car. They mean a photo of yourself! Amazingly, quite a few people actually display photos of their children, for all the nut-cases browsing the web to see. That is not a wise thing to do, for the children's safety.

Your appearance

For the ladies, don't apologise for your appearance. Even if you have a low opinion of how you look, resist the temptation to convey that in a profile. A touch of modesty is fine, but anything more will give the impression that you are very lacking in confidence. That can attract the wrong kind of man, while putting off those who genuinely admire full figured women. Starting profiles with the cliché "Don't judge a book by its cover", (as many profiles do) gets you off to a bad start!

Proof reading

Take some care and proof read your profile. One typo can reverse the meaning of a statement. Sometimes mistakes can look highly amusing to the reader. I read one lady's profile, stating her job to be a "fiance administrator"! I could guess what she meant, but it highlights the importance of avoiding errors: One mistake might cost you the price of putting off that elusive companion.

Built-in obsolescence

Avoid writing things that will quickly make the profile appear dated, or else be prepared to keep updating it. Such as being new to the site or online dating, or even writing your age within the main text. When it states age 35 in the main part of the profile, but the current age is shown as 39, then it gives away how long you've been on the site, while showing you have not kept it up to date.

Personal security

Be careful not to reveal your surname and date of birth on your profile. I've seen user-names that appear to reveal these details (assuming they are genuine). You don't want to become a victim of identity theft.

And having covered what not to do, here are some tips on what you should do:

1) Take profile writing seriously and put some time and care into it.

2) If your writing skills are not good, get a friend to check over your profile.

3) Write positive and optimisitic things about yourself (including appearance) and the partner you seek.

4) Write about what makes you unique.

5) Be honest and open, but don't write at great length.

6) Keep sounding happy and optimistic in your profile no matter what online experiences you may have.

7) Don't be too restrictive with the age range of partner you seek. That would defeat all the trouble you have gone to, to set up a profile, only to exclude too many potential friends/soulmates.

8) Say what you will bring to a relationship, rather than just listing what you expect from a partner.



Headlines:

If you are using a dating site with a very large number of members, then it is important to have a really good headline to grab attention. Remember that people browsing the site may be skimming fast over lots of profiles. Your headline needs to stop them in their tracks.

Humour is often a good approach, but there are two things to avoid: Firstly, sarcastic humour can cause problems when it is read by folk who don't know you. They might not be sure if your words are serious or a joke. Secondly, avoid humorous lines that are being repeated all over the site. Instead, write something that relates to yourself, or perhaps demonstrates the kind of humour you like (but nothing offensive!).

Alternatively, write a headlline that is heart-warming. You might be limited in the length of headline permitted, so be careful that the end has not been chopped off. Also, keep the headline truthful, if it relates to anything about you.

As with all profile writing, never put in the headline anything negative (even hinting at anything negative) and never put anything that sounds as though you are desparing in your soul mate search.

Photos

Photos are also vital in catching attention. The main thing is a good quality, clear photo, that is also flattering. Avoid flash photography and group photos. If necessary crop the photo so that there is not too much background, otherwise it will be hard to see you (ask a friend do crop it if you don't have the required software or know-how).

But when it comes to attention grabbing photos, don't read that as meaning scantily clad, or silly or rude poses! Don't put off the reader whose attention you have just caught!

If your photo was taken sideways-up, most computers have the software to rotate it 90 degrees. Look at the photo on whatever picture viewer your computer has, and you will probably find some controls shown below the image. Two of these will be for rotating the photo one way or the other.



And finally... make a positive sounding profile

You may need to include a few negative points, such as certain categories that you will not date at all. But try and make most of the profile sound positive by writing what qualities *do* appeal. If you have gone through some hard times recently, then don't dwell on how bad these experiences were or the effect they've had on you. Not only is that negative sounding, but it may also mark you out as a potential victim for just the sort of person you wish to avoid (control-freaks, parasites, etc.). You don't need to sound conceited about yourself to come across as positive. Just try to be cheerful, optimistic about the future, and include some humour. If you can make the reader smile, then he/she will probably read the whole profile.


Find Love at BBWPersonalsPlus.com!


First Dates and Choosing a Partner

These two issues might seem like very personal matters, and they are. But, quite a few people make fundamental errors: Criteria and plans used for choosing and meeting a potential life-time partner often have little to do with the real issues that make or break most relationships. Living together for a long time requires not only compatibility, but certain characteristics for getting along with people, being willing to discuss, negotiate calmly, compromise, etc.

Big mistakes can start with the first date, if you are meeting someone found online. Dining out and interrogating your potential partner, is not dissimilar to a formal job interview. Interviews fail miserably because they only establish how good the applicant is at doing interviews. If your date seems impressive at a dinner (1st date) then it might just mean he/she has lots of experience of dinner dates. Or he/she might just have that confident exterior that gives a good first impression. Not that that last point is a bad thing, but it doesn't get down to the issues that make him/her good life-time partner material. Conversely, if your dinner date seems inept, clumbsy, nervous, etc., that has no bearing whatsoever on their potential. It means that the nature of the date, and the feeling of being "put on trial", has led them to give a poor impression of themselves, rather than an enlightening one.

So, a first date should be as relaxing and informal as is possible, for something that needs to happen in a busy public place. Clues as to how he/she would treat a partner in the long term, can come from information about their relatives and former partners. Anger and bitterness might be a bad sign (although not always). If they look after elderly parents, then that shows that they care. Very often, independence is seen is a major virtue, and while that might be true in principle, someone who has lived on their own for a long time, may lack the characteristics needed to live harmoniously with someone. Or else it just makes it hard for you to judge if he/she can cope with living together, unless they live with relatives and get on with them and treat them well.

Another fundamental error in choosing partners, is placing too much emphasis on their subjective tastes in music, fashion, entertainment, etc. It makes sense to have tastes that can get along, and some overlap in favourite shows, or other interests, but one has to be realistic and keep one's priorities in order. If you find a caring, compatible, honest, loving partner, then don't reject them because their taste in music isn't quite the same as yours!

There are some criteria laid down traditionally to the point of being clichés. For example, only accepting a partner who is on a similar financial and career level. It is understandable when someone has had a bad experience of a partner using them as a "meal ticket", but if you exclude everyone at a lower income (or perceived lower career), then you may be missing some gems. Or only seeking someone who has a car, home, successful career, etc. is very superficial and limits one's chances of finding that elusive ideal soul-mate.

Too much emphasis on physical appearance is another cliché, but all too common for both men and women. Going for some preference in looks is perfectly fine, but long wish-lists are ridiculous. Keep wish-lists inside your head, and use more practical criteria in your search. That doesn't mean ignoring looks altogether, because looks can still have some importance. Just keep it realistic. I've seen a great many dating profiles specifying colour of eyes, hair and socks! I kid you not.

And finally, at the risk of insulting your intelligence, I'll give out the routine warnings about first dates: Don't take him/her home on a first date. A possible exception might be for long distance relationships, but only if you've spoken at length, over many months and have been thorough in assessing how trustworthy he/she appears to be. Even then, always let friends/relations know about the first meeting, so they can advise or check up on you for your safety. Meet in a busy public place such as a shopping centre and don't agree to go anywhere more private afterwards. I've heard of bad experiences (for ladies) even when they had a relative with them at home for peace of mind. Build the relationship slowly and don't get swept along too fast. A degree of caution should be applied, but don't go to the opposite extreme and treat each new date as guilty until proven innocent! Keep a balance, and a trustworthy date will respect your caution.

And on a happier note, perseverence can pay off no matter what age you are. Enjoy yourself :)



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Ianardo's

Flirting/dating tips for larger ladies and the men who admire them, out in the off-line real world

There is a lot of advice online about body-language between men and women and other aspects of flirting and dating (much of which consists of appalling generalisations and dating clichés!). But there are additional things to consider if you are a cuddly lady or a gent who prefers a larger girl-friend.

Firstly, for the men who are seeking a potential girl friend

An added problem for BBW admirers is that many of the ladies may have self-esteem issues relating to their physique and may have had bad experiences that now make it harder for them to connect with a nice, genuine admirer. The following is a bit simplistic, but it will help to understand these issues if I list a few categories of larger women:

1 - Genuinely confident. A minority of large (even very large) ladies are lucky enough to have real confidence in themselves. This makes them especially attractive to real admirers as they have few self-esteem issues or other worries about how the world perceives them. They tend to be strict about being treated with respect, and those men who are not true admirers, but prey on low self-esteem women, won't last 5 minutes with them!

2 - Confident on the surface. A great many cuddly ladies manage to show a confident looking exterior, and may have strong qualities in their character. Yet underneath, they may have a fragile self-esteem and a delicate heart. No matter how strong and confident they appear, treat them gently and with kindness towards their feelings.

3 - Introverted. Quite a few cuddly ladies look less confident straight away. They avoid eye contact with strangers, perhaps take less care of their appearance, and may be suspicious of a guy who takes an interest. They may have had troubled experiences in relationships, having been treated badly, and they may take a bit of extra time to build up confidence if you get to know such a lady. If you get on well, then it is worth the effort!

4 - Miss Angry. A small minority are so disgusted with their own appearance, that they are aggressive towards admirers. Unless you are a professional counsellor, you would be advised to avoid such a lady, especially if she can't treat you with respect and politeness.

Whether their self-esteems are high or low, and whatever their past experiences, these ladies should be treated largely the same. With respect. The main difference is that more patience is needed for lower self-esteems, and it can take months or years for a lady to feel better about herself. It is up to her to change, but your moral support and admiration will help.

For men who have spotted a lady who they would like to get to know

Many larger women have had experiences of being eyed up by guys that they found to be "creepy". For men who like their girl friends to be extra cuddly, spotting a lady who appeals visually may be a rare event. The danger then is to get over-whelmed with admiration and spend too much time checking out her figure. So, pull yourself together, and look at her eyes and not any body parts. Popular general flirting advice is to hold a glance for a few seconds, but with a larger lady you have to be more cautious. Avoid staring. You can always make a few glances. If you are shy and can't hold eye contact for long, be careful that your eyes don't drop. This might be mistaken for you looking at her chest! That does not go down well. The way that you look at her is very important. Hopefully, your natural expression will give out the right signals, but you can make a conscious effort to be sure that your eyes are wide and "smiling", that your eye-brows are raised a little bit, and that you give at least a hint of a smile. Over-doing the smile might make her think you are mocking, depending on how good her confidence is.

If you have had the opportunity to chat, and had the courage to take it, then be careful what you talk about. Mundane chat about the situation you are in, just as you might talk to any other person, is a good cautious approach that is unlikely to scare the lady away. It will also allow you to gauge her reaction to you and see if she has enough interest to talk some more. Avoid starting a chat with a direct comment about her beauty, as she may just brush you off if you are too forward. In this first chat, don't talk about your BBW admiration and avoid the topic of her physique. Make her feel like you are interested in the person she is. She may work out that you like her appearance by the fact that you are talking to her.

Men dating a cuddly girl friend

It is important to show your girl friend affection when out and about with her. Onlookers are less likely to make negative comments or give rude stares if they can see that she is with a loving boy friend. Give her your full attention and be oblivious to other people. And don't check out any other big ladies you spot! Make sure that you welcome her into your circle of family and friends. Men who seem embarrassed to be with a large lady, do not deserve to share her company, and she deserves to be treated better.

For the ladies who are seeking a potential boy friend

If you hope that a nice guy will make that first move and approach you to talk, then it helps if you feel good about yourself, or at least try to put on an air of confidence. This makes you appear more approachable and more attractive.

If a gent is looking at you, but you are not sure if this is admiration, keep in mind that he might see very few ladies who he is very attracted to (being a BBW/SSBBW admirer), and is a bit "gob-smacked"! That can cross up his body language and facial expressions, so give him a chance to recover his composure and see if he might be a true admirer. It is so easy to miss-understand each other's body language at the initial encounter, for a large lady and an admirer. If he doesn't continue to "creep you out", and seems attractive, then your natural body-language should take over, but a smiling glance or two will help just in case he doesn't pick up on subtle gestures.

If a guy does not keep eye contact for long, he might just be shy. If his eyes drop, don't assume that he is checking out your cleavage! Women who have had countless bad (or just irritating) experiences with men, can sometimes make the mistake of jumping to conclusions over the behaviour of a new guy. Take things slowly and give the poor chap a fair chance to show what he is like.

If you do get chatting, don't be too disappointed if he is a bit inept at expressing his admiration. In this thin obsessed world, men often have trouble explaining their admiration, and ladies often have trouble taking the concept in. If you do receive compliments, accept them politely and assume that they are genuine. They probably are! Rejecting a compliment will cause offense and quite possibly be the beginning of the end of a new relationship.

A lot of full figured ladies are seeking a boy friend who is only interested in her inner qualities and not her appearance. While it has been known for this approach to work, it is very optimistic and limits your chances. More importantly, many plus sized ladies in successful relationships, report that their soul mates loved them for both their inner and outer beauty, and this is usually important for a full and rewarding long-term relationship. Many people claim that looks don't matter at all, but in fact, physical attraction can help to keep a relationship going through any difficult times, as the guy will try harder to make it work well if there is a strong attraction to you. So, while one's inner beauty is most important, the outer attraction helps a lot!


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BBW Dating - The Webmaster's Tale



More pages of interest for full figured ladies:

Clothing Index UK

Clothing Index USA

Clothing Index International

What Causes Many Ladies to be Large?

Fitness Tips for Extra Cuddly Ladies

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Website started 4th March 2001