The following advice on writing a good profile for dating websites, is only one man's thought's, but I am a veteran of the BBW sites and to a lesser extent the general ones. However, some of my own opinions are echoed by similar advice offered at some of the personals websites themselves.

Firstly, I'll list a few things to avoid, as these are very common, but serious, mistakes by profile writers. Keep in mind at all times that a personal profile at a dating site is supposed to be an advert, intended to attract (hopefully the right person):

Rants

Ranting has no place in a profile, even though it may be tempting after many bad experiences on a personals site. There are very clear-cut reasons why you should not write a rant in a profile. Firstly, the people actually reading the rant will more than likely have had equally bad experiences, and they do not want to hear moans from a complete stranger (ranting should happen between friends or on an appropriate forum). Secondly, the sort of people mentioned in the rants probably don't bother to read profiles properly. Thirdly, a profile should be positive if it is going to attract the right sort of person, and a rant will probably make him/her move quickly onto another profile. So a rant may make your troubles at a site worse. A slight exception to this rule would be a witty, well written, humorous take on bad experiences at dating sites. If you enjoy writing, then this can give an insight into your sense of humour and how you get through these annoying experiences in a cheerful and positive manner. It is best to save such an article for the end of a profile.

"Favourites" lists at dating sites

This is really part of the rants issue mentioned above. There is a widespread (but bizarre!) resentment among the ladies (at least) at dating sites, for men who add them to a "favourites" list, but then do not get in touch. The whole point of a favourites list is so that someone browsing can find profiles again that looked promising, but there are many possible (and obvious) reasons why he might not write. Why should this irritate so many ladies? It does not impact on their lives or infringe on their freedom, or have any other negative effect. I take it as a compliment to be added to such a list, and if that lady never writes, it means she's changed her mind, or found someone more suitable, or some other reason. Who cares?! So don't moan about such nonesense in profiles!

Silly Exclusions

Give some thought as to the types of people you say you definitely don't want to hear from. I often see requests for "idiots" not to reply, which tends to mark out the profile writer as an idiot! After all, how many idiots believe themselves to be idiots?! And assessing idiocy is highly subjective anyway. Requests concerning honesty and liars can also make the profile writer appear foolish. How many liars are going to own up to their lying tendency?! As fools don't always read profiles properly (or just look at the photos), it can be futile to take up valuable profile space trying to tell them not to write, while the nicer and more intelligent readers will be put off by having to read so many negative points.

Subjective Attributes

When describing yourself or the person you seek, don't attach words such as "good" to purely subjective issues. For example, "good sense of humour", "good fashion sense" or "good taste in music" are meaningless unless you give examples of your own taste. Sadly, many people do not grasp that these issues are subjective, and seriously believe their own taste to be the only right one! And asking for someone good looking, handsome, beautiful, etc. really is very silly! One person's view of good looks is another person's view of unattractive.

Normality

One person's view of being "normal" will be another's view of eccentricity. So, avoid writing that you do all the "usual things" or "normal things", or that you are "normal" and/or seek someone "normal". That can come across as arrogant, since one should not hold oneself up as a personality that all others should aspire to! "Normal" could also be interpretted as meaning either hobbies, lifestyles, etc., or else it might refer to having a sound state of mind. Either way, it is pointless to write about it, since a great many readers will consider themselves normal, but may be uncertain what the advertiser is trying to say.

Hobby Lists Too Lengthy

Sometimes it can be a mistake to list too many hobbies/interests. Some people do this in the hope that they may hit upon an interest of the reader, but it may have the reverse effect if there are several interests that don't appeal to the reader. It is better to mention one's main spare time interests and state that you are open to meeting someone with different interests and learning about them (if indeed that is your philosophy?).

Profile Too Long

If your profle text is very long (especially in long paragraphs), the reader may not bother to try reading it all. Remember, the profile is an advert and so the text should be structured. Start with something to get his/her interest. Break it up into paragraphs if the website design permits this. Use bullet-style or numbered lists if appropriate, to make the text easier to read quickly. The reader may be browsing through dozens of profiles and does not want to dwell on any single profile unless it grabs his/her interest. If you still want to add extra information, then this can be added at the end as an appendix to be read by those who have enjoyed reading the main part of the profile.

Clichés

Many profiles look the same because they are full of clichés, often the same ones over and over again. Apart from being irritating when browsing lots of profiles, they can fail to get across just what the person is like, since the phrases are open to interpretation. Clichés such as "laid back", "down to earth", "don't suffer fools gladly", "work hard and play hard", "what you see is what you get", also fail miserably because it makes one's profile blend into many others. It needs to stand out as being individual, since it is after all advertising an individual person, and not some cardboard cut-out pretend person! So write something that describes your character. A party-goer? A quiet, creative type? A world traveller? A lot about yourself comes across in the way you write it rather than actually stating it, such as the type of sense of humour you have.

Annoying the BBW Admirers

For the cuddly ladies advertising in BBW/admirer specific sites, please make sure that the text of your profile is not a copy of what you have been using on the general dating sites. I often see firm statements made about the lady's physique followed by a request for those wanting a thin lady to push off! When written on a BBW/admirer site, that looks pretty silly! Virtually all the men reading will not prefer thin ladies, but they will be irritated by that out of place request. Again, it makes the profile writer look like a fool, when it may just be carelessness. Profile writing should not be hurried. Potentially, they can be very important for your future life.

Long Wish Lists

Unfortunately some website profile pages encourage folk to write out long and unrealistic wish lists about the potential partner that they seek. When a maid told Mae West that she seeked a man who is "tall, handsome and rich", Mae replied that the maid wasn't seeking a man, she was seeking 3 men! Apart from being realistic about who you would like to find, one should not have too many strict criteria because every person is a balance of many qualities, quirks and faults. He/she may fall slightly short of one of your preferences, but compensate by being very good in another aspect. If you set a long list of uncompromising criteria, then you will exclude almost everyone. For the ladies in particular, this can have even worse side effects, as I suspect that these long wish lists encourage some men to lie about themselves, and I'm sure the ladies do not want to find themselves dating a liar! Sometimes criteria appears as a result of past bad experiences, but it is all too easy to over-react to just one or two experiences of a particular 'type' of person, and then generalise about all in that category and exclude them all in the future. Given time, the entire population may end up excluded! A common example is to exclude men/women who are out of work. There are lots of possible reasons for that state of affairs and many people have been in this situation at some time in their lives. It is only fair to hear their story first and then decide what sort of person they are.

Causing offense

When expressing your preferences for a potential boy/girl friend, there is no need to be offensive about those who do not meet your requirements. At BBW sites, this may well be deemed hypocritical, as a number of larger ladies, evidently seeking acceptance, then make remarks about men who are large, thin, short, etc. Thoughtless comments (perhaps made in jest) can even be offensive to people who actually do fit your criteria. For example jokes about false teeth and lost hair, aimed at steering away men who are much older (than the lady advertising), will actually target victims of illness and accidents who may be young and just as worthy of consideration as any other likely prospects. That gives the impression that the lady is thoughtless and/or heartless, when in fact she may just have been careless and hurried in her profile writing.

Keep it logical!

Sometimes I read profiles with statements and requests that make no sense. For example, insisting that replies must only come from men who are taller than the advertiser, but the advertiser has not revealed her height! Or requesting someone who shares the same interests, without actually revealing the advertiser's interests!

Photo captions

I often see photos 'dated' as having been "taken last month", or "taken 3 weeks ago". These are meaningless statements unless the reader has some way of knowing when they were written! If the photos are to be dated at all, then the actual date (or at least the year) that they were taken should be stated. If you look young for your age, it helps to emphasise how recently the photos were taken.

Photos of yourself only!

When dating sites ask you to upload photos, they don't mean pictures of Ely Cathedral, a house, a dog, or a car. They mean a photo of yourself! Amazingly, quite a few people actually display photos of their children, for all the nut-cases browsing the web to see. That is not a wise thing to do, for the children's safety.

And finally... make a positive sounding profile

You may need to include a few negative points, such as certain categories that you will not date at all. But try and make most of the profile sound positive by writing what qualities *do* appeal. If you have gone through some hard times recently, then don't dwell on how bad these experiences were or the effect they've had on you. Not only is that negative sounding, but it may also mark you out as a potential victim for just the sort of person you wish to avoid (control-freaks, parasites, etc.). You don't need to sound conceited about yourself to come across as positive. Just try to be cheerful, optimistic about the future, and include some humour. If you can make the reader smile, then he/she will probably read the whole profile.